Monday, February 16, 2009

The Gospel according to Tori


Those of you who know me know that I try to see the very best in everyone and in every situation but sometimes you have to call a spade a spade, KWIM? Lately I'm finding that I'm not doing as often as I'd like to but there are these people that drive me BATTY! These people are all around us, wherever you go....there they are! So lets go over the a few top things that put you in that category that many people can agree to mkay? Mkay!



  1. Don't invite yourself over to MY house. I don't care who you are, but the only person that is always welcome at my house is Jesus, everybody else needs to call first and see if we are AVAILABLE. And sometimes we may be home/available but we just don't want to see you, so scheduling is a must! Its not that we don't want to see you ever, its just really rude to announce you're coming and you weren't invited.

  2. Don't make negative comments about my kid, its just not right. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all because although he/she may be just what you said, momma bear will come out, chew you up and spit you back out.

  3. 3pm means 3pm!!!! Not 3:01 or 2:30. Be considerate of other peoples time. Being on time is very important and considerate. Being late a couple times is acceptable because of certain situations but if you're the one in the group that is always known to be late, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM! Get it together ok, it is NOT all about you!

  4. Think about what you say before you say it so that you donut have to take anything back. Really, its a simple concept. If you do that, you don't have to apologize for saying anything and everybody will know you meant exactly what you said. Don't back track, don't clean it up, just simply think before you speak to avoid putting your foot in your mouth.

  5. You're NOT everybody's friend. Its an impossible task. Not everybody is going to like you so stop trying so hard. I mean its cool to be friendly but you don't have to befriend everyone you know. It makes you straddle, which causes a divide, which in turn is a Di-vision. Pick a team k?

  6. KISS. Keep it Simple....you know the rest. Seriously, we don't need to know EVERY.SINGLE.DETAIL. Can you take that 2 hour mishap and sum it up in say 2 minutes???

  7. Don't ask me or any other person (man or woman) when they are planning to have children. It really is a very personal question and you may as well say "are you having sex?" See, that's just personal right?

  8. Unsolicited advice is a NO NO! If I don't ask you specifically how, what, when do you think? Keep it quiet its not your business.

  9. Don't ask me for advice if you really don't want to hear my answer. Here's the deal, you're really looking for a confirmation of your truth, so go with your truth and there wont be a problem with you getting angry with me for telling you "THE TRUTH."

  10. Don't expect me to be chummy with you after you've just kicked me in the crack! I hold grudges. I'm sorry, but I do and I'm working on it. But I just cant be back all buddy buddy with you when you've just wronged me.

Ok, theres 10 and that was really easy. :-) These things make me go from 0-60 in about 2 seconds flat and I'm sure many of you can agree to many of them as well. So now that you know this list of mine (that now will now and forevermore be know as the Gospel according to Tori) either get it together or KICK ROCKS!!!


Lovingly yours,


Tori

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

You deserve a break today!


In December I was presented with an opportunity to go on a girls weekend in New Jersey. I thought this would be just the break I need! There were 2 problems, I'd have to leave my kid overnight as this was a kid/husband free zone, and 2, how the hell do I convince my husband to say its ok for me to fly several thousands miles away by myself to a city to hang out with oh sayyyyyy 30 women whom I'd never met in real life!!!! Can you imagine?



See here's the deal, and I realize this might sound crazy to those of you who don't make friends online but DON'T JUDGE ME! :-) I met this awesome group of women online probably about 8 years ago while we were planning our weddings on http://www.theknot.com/. Being that most of us plan a wedding for about a year we really got to know each other on that website and after the wedding planning was over we didn't want to leave each other, thus a new board was born for newlyweds (you know so you can continue to talk about what jerk your maid of honor was) and the thing that supposedly comes next after marriage...trying to conceive. We have seen each other through marriage, pregnancy, infertility, divorce, business ventures, lay offs, new jobs, miscarriage, loss of parents, children and recently a husband. :-( I KNOW these women.




Since I got married in 2002 there have been several of these shindigs, but I never made it because of my husbands severe anxiety of "the unknown". Although he has known about my "board" and the lives of my "friends" for at least 7 years he was still very, very skeptical. That's was until one day recently, he left the room and one minute I was laughing hysterically with him and when he returned I was crying my eyes out, so hard that I couldn't even speak to him. The only thing I could do was put the laptop screen in his face so that he could become privy to the knowledge that I'd already received. It was that my friend Andrea's husband had been killed in a terrible work related accident. He held me while I grieved for my friend and her 2 children. He saw how we all came together during this time and I think it was then that he realized the depth of our relationships and that we are much, much more than just a message board, we are more like sisters. (((((ANDREA)))

I had dealt with my husbands anxiety so now I had to deal with my own. I guess its pretty common for a new mother to have anxiety about leaving a child overnight but I must admit mine was to the nth degree. I'm selfish with his love and attention and I admit it. I'm obsessed with all things Davis! That kid and I have a serious love affair going on and I do plan to let it continue for as long as he will let it. I can imagine in a few years he will not want me to plant a million kisses on him a day. LOL! Even though I knew I'd miss him like crazy, with everything in me I knew I desperately needed some time away from LIFE, just for me to do something I wanted to do. A bed to myself, having a hot dinner for a change without stopping to cut up someone elses food or pick up a sippy cup, not having to wake up at dark o'clock, (as my friend Cammie so fondly states it) no diaper changes, NO BARNEY (thank the Lord on high!) and no "can you, will you, why dontcha's" from DA MAN! I had been offered my Calgon and dog gone it, I believed I deserved to go!



After much debate (well actually not that much) and a YES from my wonderful husband, I did it! I took the break I have longed for, left my husband and kid (for the very first time) and hopped on a plane to Philadelphia - Jersey bound and had the TIME OF MY LIFE....Do you hear the music playing? We shared stories and drank, laughed until our rib cages hurt and drank, felt the pain of one our sisters and cried till some of us left the room...and drank, played with the Wii and drank, ate as much as we wanted and drank, acted like college sorority girls and drank, threw up, (well somebody did, luv u!)discovered a kleptomaniac,(luv u too) rented a party bus and DRANK, met Jil, Amy and Megan (you Rock)drove into Philly for some site seeing (just the liberty bell-we didn't travel to go site seeing!) ended up at a club, drank and partied the night away until a fight ensued, got back on our party bus, (more drinking) some tinkled in an alley, (hey bestie!) and ended up having famous Philly Cheese steaks wit or wit-out at Gino's and Pats, and finally ended up back in Jersey around 3:30am. Being that my choice of beverage of the evening was Red Bull and vodka, I still could.not.sleep! :-( Oh well, I had a ball!












That's right people, your girl Tori, LET HER HAIR DOWN and got her party on!!! The next day we gathered at the home of our wonderful hostess (Ryann) tired and hung over but so sad that we were nearing the end of our wonderful weekend. We said our goodbyes and the Dr. of our group, (nice scrubs Steph) took me to the airport, closer and closer to reality.




When I got home my baby was in 1 piece and so was my husband. They hugged me like it had been weeks instead of 2 days and for the first time Davis said to me "Mommy, I luh you" without me saying it first and then him doing it in the sing song Barney voice he always does it in. It was sweet and perfect and also said to me that I do indeed deserve a break sometimes and I'm so glad I got it.

Today - I'm still so very exhausted (cant hang like I use to) but I miss the girls so very much and can't wait to do it again! Thank you to all of you that convinced me I needed to come.

Cammie- I want that boob on eBay!!!! *CLAP* Done!





































Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Memories

Last night I opened a bottle of Johnsons Head to Toe Baby Wash. I know, I know he's almost 2 but it was on sale and it works. I hadnt bought this particular kind in a very long time because of all the new fragrances on the shelves so I just picked it up while shopping because we were almost out.

Anyway, I opened the bottled, put my nose over it, inhaled deeply and was immediately filled with amazing memories of when my baby was just a newborn in the hospital. Its funny how a particular smell can bring you back to the very exact moment of where you were when you first experienced the smell. It was June 29, 2007 in Augusta at The Medical College of Georgia NICU. It was also my 5th wedding anniversary, my son's 5th day in the NICU, the first time they let me hold him and let me give him a bath and we used Johnson Head to Toe Baby Wash. :-)

With a misty eye, I took it to my husband and asked him to smell to see if it brought back the same memory. He said he remembered but not like me. :-) I will never in all my days forget that smell, it holds a special memory that I want to hold onto forever because it makes me happy. There were no tangible "gifts" to be given that year for our anniversary, but what I recieved that day will be with me forever and there is nothing in this world that can replace it.