Monday, February 16, 2009

The Gospel according to Tori

Those of you who know me know that I try to see the very best in everyone and in every situation but sometimes you have to call a spade a spade, KWIM? Lately I'm finding that I'm not doing as often as I'd like to but there are these people that drive me BATTY! These people are all around us, wherever you go....there they are! So lets go over the a few top things that put you in that category that many people can agree to mkay? Mkay!

  1. Don't invite yourself over to MY house. I don't care who you are, but the only person that is always welcome at my house is Jesus, everybody else needs to call first and see if we are AVAILABLE. And sometimes we may be home/available but we just don't want to see you, so scheduling is a must! Its not that we don't want to see you ever, its just really rude to announce you're coming and you weren't invited.

  2. Don't make negative comments about my kid, its just not right. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all because although he/she may be just what you said, momma bear will come out, chew you up and spit you back out.

  3. 3pm means 3pm!!!! Not 3:01 or 2:30. Be considerate of other peoples time. Being on time is very important and considerate. Being late a couple times is acceptable because of certain situations but if you're the one in the group that is always known to be late, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM! Get it together ok, it is NOT all about you!

  4. Think about what you say before you say it so that you donut have to take anything back. Really, its a simple concept. If you do that, you don't have to apologize for saying anything and everybody will know you meant exactly what you said. Don't back track, don't clean it up, just simply think before you speak to avoid putting your foot in your mouth.

  5. You're NOT everybody's friend. Its an impossible task. Not everybody is going to like you so stop trying so hard. I mean its cool to be friendly but you don't have to befriend everyone you know. It makes you straddle, which causes a divide, which in turn is a Di-vision. Pick a team k?

  6. KISS. Keep it know the rest. Seriously, we don't need to know EVERY.SINGLE.DETAIL. Can you take that 2 hour mishap and sum it up in say 2 minutes???

  7. Don't ask me or any other person (man or woman) when they are planning to have children. It really is a very personal question and you may as well say "are you having sex?" See, that's just personal right?

  8. Unsolicited advice is a NO NO! If I don't ask you specifically how, what, when do you think? Keep it quiet its not your business.

  9. Don't ask me for advice if you really don't want to hear my answer. Here's the deal, you're really looking for a confirmation of your truth, so go with your truth and there wont be a problem with you getting angry with me for telling you "THE TRUTH."

  10. Don't expect me to be chummy with you after you've just kicked me in the crack! I hold grudges. I'm sorry, but I do and I'm working on it. But I just cant be back all buddy buddy with you when you've just wronged me.

Ok, theres 10 and that was really easy. :-) These things make me go from 0-60 in about 2 seconds flat and I'm sure many of you can agree to many of them as well. So now that you know this list of mine (that now will now and forevermore be know as the Gospel according to Tori) either get it together or KICK ROCKS!!!

Lovingly yours,



  1. Cammie- seriously you crack me up! Thanks for reading my blog, I feel like a celebrity! LOL!

  2. :) I'm sure we could all write our own top 10 lists like this.