In December I was presented with an opportunity to go on a girls weekend in New Jersey. I thought this would be just the break I need! There were 2 problems, I'd have to leave my kid overnight as this was a kid/husband free zone, and 2, how the hell do I convince my husband to say its ok for me to fly several thousands miles away by myself to a city to hang out with oh sayyyyyy 30 women whom I'd never met in real life!!!! Can you imagine?
See here's the deal, and I realize this might sound crazy to those of you who don't make friends online but DON'T JUDGE ME! :-) I met this awesome group of women online probably about 8 years ago while we were planning our weddings on http://www.theknot.com/. Being that most of us plan a wedding for about a year we really got to know each other on that website and after the wedding planning was over we didn't want to leave each other, thus a new board was born for newlyweds (you know so you can continue to talk about what jerk your maid of honor was) and the thing that supposedly comes next after marriage...trying to conceive. We have seen each other through marriage, pregnancy, infertility, divorce, business ventures, lay offs, new jobs, miscarriage, loss of parents, children and recently a husband. :-( I KNOW these women.
Since I got married in 2002 there have been several of these shindigs, but I never made it because of my husbands severe anxiety of "the unknown". Although he has known about my "board" and the lives of my "friends" for at least 7 years he was still very, very skeptical. That's was until one day recently, he left the room and one minute I was laughing hysterically with him and when he returned I was crying my eyes out, so hard that I couldn't even speak to him. The only thing I could do was put the laptop screen in his face so that he could become privy to the knowledge that I'd already received. It was that my friend Andrea's husband had been killed in a terrible work related accident. He held me while I grieved for my friend and her 2 children. He saw how we all came together during this time and I think it was then that he realized the depth of our relationships and that we are much, much more than just a message board, we are more like sisters. (((((ANDREA)))
I had dealt with my husbands anxiety so now I had to deal with my own. I guess its pretty common for a new mother to have anxiety about leaving a child overnight but I must admit mine was to the nth degree. I'm selfish with his love and attention and I admit it. I'm obsessed with all things Davis! That kid and I have a serious love affair going on and I do plan to let it continue for as long as he will let it. I can imagine in a few years he will not want me to plant a million kisses on him a day. LOL! Even though I knew I'd miss him like crazy, with everything in me I knew I desperately needed some time away from LIFE, just for me to do something I wanted to do. A bed to myself, having a hot dinner for a change without stopping to cut up someone elses food or pick up a sippy cup, not having to wake up at dark o'clock, (as my friend Cammie so fondly states it) no diaper changes, NO BARNEY (thank the Lord on high!) and no "can you, will you, why dontcha's" from DA MAN! I had been offered my Calgon and dog gone it, I believed I deserved to go!
After much debate (well actually not that much) and a YES from my wonderful husband, I did it! I took the break I have longed for, left my husband and kid (for the very first time) and hopped on a plane to Philadelphia - Jersey bound and had the TIME OF MY LIFE....Do you hear the music playing? We shared stories and drank, laughed until our rib cages hurt and drank, felt the pain of one our sisters and cried till some of us left the room...and drank, played with the Wii and drank, ate as much as we wanted and drank, acted like college sorority girls and drank, threw up, (well somebody did, luv u!)discovered a kleptomaniac,(luv u too) rented a party bus and DRANK, met Jil, Amy and Megan (you Rock)drove into Philly for some site seeing (just the liberty bell-we didn't travel to go site seeing!) ended up at a club, drank and partied the night away until a fight ensued, got back on our party bus, (more drinking) some tinkled in an alley, (hey bestie!) and ended up having famous Philly Cheese steaks wit or wit-out at Gino's and Pats, and finally ended up back in Jersey around 3:30am. Being that my choice of beverage of the evening was Red Bull and vodka, I still could.not.sleep! :-( Oh well, I had a ball!
That's right people, your girl Tori, LET HER HAIR DOWN and got her party on!!! The next day we gathered at the home of our wonderful hostess (Ryann) tired and hung over but so sad that we were nearing the end of our wonderful weekend. We said our goodbyes and the Dr. of our group, (nice scrubs Steph) took me to the airport, closer and closer to reality.
When I got home my baby was in 1 piece and so was my husband. They hugged me like it had been weeks instead of 2 days and for the first time Davis said to me "Mommy, I luh you" without me saying it first and then him doing it in the sing song Barney voice he always does it in. It was sweet and perfect and also said to me that I do indeed deserve a break sometimes and I'm so glad I got it.
Today - I'm still so very exhausted (cant hang like I use to) but I miss the girls so very much and can't wait to do it again! Thank you to all of you that convinced me I needed to come.
Cammie- I want that boob on eBay!!!! *CLAP* Done!